fatherless

The Lord put something onmy heart to share with you, during the time i staied in America, but i was allways to shy to open my mouth, so here i write it down: i'm part of a fatherless generation...you, too? and it's not only my generation, it's the generation before me and before them and the generation after me....
what does that mean,? yeah...there are difrent kinds of fatherless...some were losing their fathers in the war, some just because of divorce, alcohol, work....
i want to tell you a story..it's my story:
i grow up with a father who drunk a lot of alcohol, i grow up with not much love from my father, there where parts of psychological missuse till sexual missuse...
how you imagine, my trust in father wasn't very good, in fact i hate them...
as i get saved and gave my life jesus, i knew that god wants to be my father, but i could never called him like that, because all i sawed was the picture of my dad, and this was the only dad i knew...god was god, my god, but never my father...
then i met al and tina, and they started to spend time with me, with us...and loved us...i think, they hadn't an easy time because they had to proof their love very often...but with the time my heart started to trust them, to trust Al's love...and at the end, he adopted me as a spiritual daughter... my heart can now say daddy to my God, i know what it means to have a Daddy, and i've actually two....why do i tell this? there are more like me in this world, which needs a father and i'm sure ther are two kinds of groups for what god telled me that: the ones who feeled like me, and missed theire daddy and Mommy (too!!!) or had never known what it means to have a father, and there are the other group, who are healed in their fathership and god call you to be a father or a mother and it doesn't mettes, how old are you, may be you think you are to young?? No way! this world needs you! to show that there is more love than they know, that there is a god, who wants to be father and mother! and this god uses you to show this in this world! He wants you! Why? cause we are humans and sometimes we are so stupid that we can't understand God and he knows that and he gives us what we need: sometimes it's not enough to know, that he loves us and so on, sometimes we must fell it, we must touch it and our god uses us to do this, becouse sometimes we need the love of a person to understand the love of god!